Powerful, Emotional Writings: An Aid to Adult Child Abuse Survivors

Choosing a Therapist or Group

QUESTIONS TO ASK ABOUT YOUR THERAPIST

1. Are all your feelings OK to express with your therapist, or are there some that are not OK?

2. Are you allowed to cry, even encouraged to if that is what you need?

3. Are you allowed to have your fear, and not be judged for having it, or does your therapist talk about ?rational? and ?irrational? fears?

4. Are you allowed to have and express your anger, without the therapist pushing or encouraging you to ?forgive? your abuser?

5. Does your therapist acknowledge that no matter what your feelings are, they tell a story of some sort, and are healthy and normal?

6. Does your therapist show his or her own emotions, and allow everyone else to as well?

7. Do you feel safe and uncrazy when you are with your therapist? Do you have their attention, without undue interruptions? Do you feel respected?

8. Does your ?gut? tell you that your therapist is the right one for you, that ?you have come home? to heal?

IS YOUR GROUP A SAFE GROUP?

1. Is cross-talk (interrupting) discouraged, so that everyone feels heard, and has everyone elses? attention?

2. Do the others in your group have similar issues, and have progressed to the point where they can do the ?work? that is required in group?

3. Does the group have rules about time limits, and is there a consensus about what ?work? is, and that gossiping, or idle chat is to be left outside of group?

4. Is time allocated in such a way, that many of the members of the group get time?

5. Is a couple minutes of time per person set aside at the beginning of group for each member to bring other members ?up to speed??

6. Do the therapists (or therapist) set clear boundaries, and step in quickly but respectfully, when someone violates those boundaries?

7. Does your group function like a functional family, not a dysfunctional one?

8. Do the members of your group empathize, not strategize?

9. Do you feel loved, respected, and safe in your group? Do you get what you need?

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